From the archive: Helplessness

PD continues the series on relationships from the original PD blog in 2012.

August 11th, 2012
Love makes us vulnerable. Our happiness is dependent on another person. We are totally helpless when a partner decides to leave us heartbroken. Even when see it evolving, there is nothing we can do about the anxiety, the desperation. We try to to work out what we have done wrong. If there has been emotional trauma a form of post traumatic stress disorder may develop, a chronic and at times debilitating illness that is notoriously difficult to treat. This is particularly after surviving a suicide attempt resulting from the break-up. There are recurring dreams and thoughts, day in and day out. Small things, a word, a person with a feature similar to the one we lost, a scene on television, trigger anxiety attacks. The feelings and thoughts come uninvited and nothing will stop them. The thoughts and feelings particularly come when we are relaxed and our minds are not on anything. Many people cope by keeping themselves busy as many hours as possible, working all day and night until exhaustion makes them collapse for a handful of hours of sleep. Sleep too long and the dreams begin. Then start the new day again. Surviving on two to four hours of sleep a day, seven days a week. Never being able to relax. Holidays or a stroll in the park are painful, allowing the thoughts and feelings to flood in. Even sitting on a couch to watch television is not on. Ironically, these people are great providers if they marry, having multiple jobs and being out of the way. This lasts a lifetime. There is rarely a cure. To sentence someone to such a life is reprehensible, yet people who professed to love someone do it. Why?
©2012 Prowling Dog

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